| xnatrlyexntrick |
[21 Sep 2005|12:04am] |
NEW JOURNAL xnatrlyexntrick
xnatrlyexntrick
ADD IT xnatrlyexntrick
xnatrlyexntrick
WHEN I AM ON I WILL TALK TO YOU xnatrlyexntrick
xnatrlyexntrick
COMPUTER = SUCKS xnatrlyexntrick
xnatrlyexntrick
ADD NEW JOURNAL
xnatrlyexntrick
DOIT xnatrlyexntrick
xnatrlyexntrick xnatrlyexntrick xnatrlyexntrick
So yea, that's xnatrlyexntrick my new journal.
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| Life as I know it.... |
[13 Jul 2005|01:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Dresden Dolls--'A Night at the Roses' |
] |
Where am I? On LJ.
Who am I? A confused teenage boy with a love of eyemakeup and an awesome boyfriend.
Which one will last? I am running out of hot pink...
Last thing you bought? Pink hair dye and neon pink nail polish.
What'd your parents say? My mom thinks I'm a crossdresser. Maybe I am? Sex<3Changes. No...I have a penis, I rather enjoy my penis.
What's the last desire you had? To cry
What's wrong? I'm confused, and just a bit scared.
What's right? Everything
Favorite Color? anything neon
Random Question? Yes
Furry animal? Hamster
Hrmmm...I just can't ask myself fifty kabajillion questions. I'm actually kinda tired, like emotionally so. I hope what I have lasts. I want to move out next year. Really badly. I miss my makeup already. it's packed up and put away. I dunno why I did it, no one made me. It was just cluttersome I guess. Eh. I'm hoping I get into this class I want into. I really really do. I want it bad. I dunno how likely it is I'll get in. Sadness of the soul, I know. I just want everything to be right. When I move I can make that happen, but my mom. She'd cry and cry, I just know it. Could I abandon her? That's what I'd be doing. Will's a douche bag, and my dad can't even really take care of himself. I worry to much. A lot can change in a year's time. I could become the douche bag with no sense of responsiblity. I have no sense of direction. No sense of style. No sense, common or otherwise. I really feel like I'm just waiting around to fail. Ha...that's not so far fetched is it. Nope. I'm crying. W00t W00t. Not like sobbing out of control, just tears. It's not bad. Shhh...my indecision is taking Aaron's job. Now that I think about it, he really was the last thing I cried about. Oh well. Time to move on. To the future that'll be as bright as the past. I'm thinking the dark ages? Before like baths and stuff.
'Ring around the roses, everybody poses.'
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| Sometimes. |
[10 May 2005|01:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bonnie McKee--"Marble Stairs" |
] |
Sometimes I just go outside........and sit........and wait.
................................But what for?
..........For tomorrow?................mhmmm no, I don't think so.
I wait
...........................F O R Y O U
..............................................For Salvation,
........Yo.
..................But what I F
...................................My Savior never comes?
.........Will I forever be.
OH
So
EmO?
.....................................Tide Life, Tide Death
.............................and evering I N B E T W E E N
......I wait
..............................................................LoYalLy
..............F O R
Y O U
Ok, yea, so maybe that was a lil too emo. But Oh well. I don't care. I feel fucked right now. In every *bad* sense of the word. but whatever. I wonder how many Time's I've said it, but here it is again, YO.
C'EST LA VIE!
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| YAYNESS! |
[03 May 2005|12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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From Autumn To Ashes--'Autumn's Monologue' |
] |
Wow...I've neglected this badly. It's almost sad. So what have I been up to you ask, well I'll tell you! Lots of fun stuff. Well not really a lot of fun stuff, a wild and crazy mix of stuff, but still. I'll fill you in.
Bio was fun, but now I'm just barely passing. I'm failing math, and I'm just screwed all over the place, except the way I want to be...oh well. SHIT, sorry hun it's tough. Not the point. I want to blame everyone else, but I'm a slacker kid who's just to considerate to slit his wrists. Haha, I kid. I think. Sooo not the point. I dunno, I just miss the fluidity of my feelings, but whatever, bitter is better.
From Autumn to Ashes ish my love!
So anyway, I'm not gonna lie. Life isn't teh happiness right now, but C'est La Vie, teenage years suck. So, in an effort to cling to happiness, I'm making a list.
1. Move to Hollywood.
2. Design costumes for a movie
3. Work Part time at a hot topic and make them my makeup bitch.
4. Work as a makeup artist, television, movies, or theatre. any or all would be nice.
5. Design own line of clothes
6. Be sexy famous and desirable to all around me.
7. Only love one person, but it will be the maddest kinkeh love eva!
8. Move back east and write my novel.
Things are subject to change though, but still, all this would be nice. Also, a note to self I should def. avoid florida and kansas at all costs. And kitties named faggot. Cause really, the number one on the list, is to never have my heart broken again.
Much love to you all. Later
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| nuuu!!! |
[15 Apr 2005|12:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tori Amos--'Silent All these Years' |
] |
OMG, I'm sooo swamped, I really shoulda gone to school today, but I couldn't. Someone woulda made a comment in some class, and off with the nuts...or just a ripped out uterus. It's all good though, tomorrow will be better. I'm sooo tired. I still have some stuff to do, and I'm now just procrastinating. *sigh*
It sucks I won't be here this weekend, cause I really need to be at atleast one midsummer nights dream rehearsal this week, but that's not happening. I sooo needa work on my parts. 1 in Taming of the Shrew, 3 in Much Ado about Nothing and than 1 in A midsummer nights dream. Wow...I can't even remember the last time I was on stage...and did well. And here I am, 5 parts and I really needa be on top of this. I can do it! But I mean wow...from 0 to 5 in no time at all.
Lots of stuff's been goin on lately, and I'm dealing. I may dye my hair this weekend...black or a reddish color, who knows. Eh...Ima go now. Later!
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| So it's me... |
[04 Apr 2005|09:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Used--'Let it Bleed' |
] |
Something about me pushes him away, and I have know clue what it is, and I hate that sooo much. I just wish I knew, I'd change anything for him, but I have to know what. Oh well, I was happy for a little while, right? I've moved on before, I'll do it again.
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| Hey Y'all! |
[27 Mar 2005|10:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Used--'All that I've Got' |
] |
Haha, it's been a while. But I'm back bitches. OMG lots been going on, and I guess if you know my you know most of it. Overall I'm happy with how things are.
Hey, in North Carolina raping the hotel's computer. It rawks hardcore. Drove in the car for like fuckin forever and than tomorrow I get to do it again! W00t! I hope this trip is fun. So yea, me and my mom are gonna go at it, I can feel it building. Certain stuff is just gonna have to come out in the light, she won't like any of it, but oh well. If only she knew how happy just being around him made me, I don't think she'd ever say no. But whatever. Things will work out, they don't have a choice.
Eh, that's all for now, later Sweeties.
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| A Case of You |
[01 Mar 2005|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
In Limbo |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Joni Mitchell--'A Case of You' |
] |
A CASE OF YOU
Just before our love got lost you said,
"I am as constant as a northern star."
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."
On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet
Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
Still, I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet
I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said,
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"
Oh but you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
Still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet
I <3 Joni Mitchell soooo much.
Anyway, things are lotsa fun at school. Iono I hope I'm not forced to take sides, if I am I'll go into major avoid mode, sorry, I love you all soo much, but I really hate being dragged in the middle.
This morning I had my eye makeup done soooo well and my parents like bitched me out, it sucked and made me sooo pissy and extra bitter this morning. So what'd I do, redid it second period. So yea, I'm evil. My tummy hurts and my new math teachers hate me, yayness. Haha oh well. My mom wants me to be normal, but Ima be a loser and quote Practical Magic:
Aunt Francis, Aunt Jet, and Sally are walking from the post office, just after having recieved a post card from Gillian.
Sally: "I just want to be normal, is that so much to ask for?"
Aunt Francis: "My Darling girl, when are you going to learn, being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage."
Aunt Jet: *points to a young couple walking down the sidewalk, the couple hurriedly walk away* "You see those two, He's having an affair with the babysitter, and she can eat a pound cake in under a minute."
*end*
I love that movie and book. OMG if anyone ever wants in my pants, give me a copy of either and it's a done deal. I already have both <3 <3 <3. I think Ima read the book again and watch the movie tonight.
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| So I'm reading The Bible and.... |
[21 Feb 2005|12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bonnie McKee--'Somebody' (lol somebody buy me the CD! Plz?) |
] |
Genesis, the story of creation, seems to be more of an explanation. When it was written, humanity didn't know half of what it does now. Really, this was only a way to explain what we couldn't understand at the time, a hypothesis. People just assumed a creator force made it all in seven days, and it was so. Now we have science and all this technology, shouldn't religion grow as we do as a people? Shouldn't new theories be put out. I really don't see why religion and science clash so often, but religion has a habit of clashing with lots of things. Oh well, just seems stupid to me, but so does following a religion so blindly you don't really have your own opinions, no names will be mentioned. *Coughdoughboycough*!
So yea, this is my first real entry in a while. Lol, I still needa figure out if I'ma be auctioned off. Yea, I know...I'ma whore like that. Seriously though, I'm really desparate for some gay lovin. Haha. Wonder if Kristena's asked Larry L. yet. Haha doubt it, or if she did doubt he even swerves a lil. Oh well. C'est La Vie. however ya spell it. Nite loves, got Bible to read, lol I'll take it to school one day, and read it in class, or on the bus near Doughboy. Ima bitch A++ for real!
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| Straighter than Kristine... |
[17 Feb 2005|12:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Flame-y |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Avion--'The Best is Yet to Come' |
] |
Well...by girl standards anyways hahaha!
 | You scored as Straight. You are as straight as they get. You like men, and only men. Maybe once or twice you've had female encounters, but nothing serious. You're all about the mens!
Straight | | 75% | Trendy bi | | 33% | Bisexual | | 17% | Big dyke! | | 0% | </td>
How much of a lesbian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
What now?! Lmao, I'm really tired, damn english homework.
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| Fun STuff |
[06 Feb 2005|02:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ciara--'1 2 Step' |
] |
Lotsa fun stuff happened, you shall hear none of it! X_x; unless you know me.
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| RAWR! |
[02 Feb 2005|12:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jack Off Jill--'American Made' |
] |
Today kicked ass, tomorrow's gonna be great too, I need a ride to Midlo though. :-; Oh well. Me, Mari, Kristine, and Jonathan just kinda hung around. It was cool, mallness, taco bellness, D&Dness, it was all fun stuff. Than Jonathan left and we called guy, it was very fun. I was the only serious person though. It's all good though.
Did I mention I need a ride badly!
:-; Help me Please!
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| Eh. |
[25 Jan 2005|03:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dresden Dolls--'Thirty Whacks' |
] |
I've figured out the Mason thing. If he likes me, cool. That's great, if he asks me out (which I doubt) I'll tell him to wait til next year. Yea, it sucks. I'll probably still consider it now...but not til after he's 14!
In other news, I've come to the conclusion that the male authority figures at the middle school are shitty. THEY SUCK TOTALLY! I am not a threat. I always find myself being cornered by these people. They get right in my face and are like getting angry and puffed up with me. I hate it. I wanna yell like get out of my face or something, but than I get in more trouble. My god, who's gonna protect me when the assholes have the power? I mean fuck! Yea...this isn't the first time either, some cop guy got in my face too. Why, cause I'm tall? Yea, that's it. I'm tall and I'm a threat. Life is always gonna suck for me. I hate this city, I hate the people here. I just really wish that there was something I could fight for, but that's impossible, cause I won't even fight for myself. I'm tired of being weak, but that's what I am.
Kristine asked Jason if he was gay. He's not, yea...there's my luck. I'm tired of being the loser, but yea...anyway.
So second period in biology we had in class review, and I got a lot of this shit down, so I wrote the first part of my play for R. Festival. It'll be great. I hope, it'll suck...but yea. I got the setting for the opening scene, and I'm gonna do like research of how people spoke and stuff in the Elizabethian Era, and than start on the dialogue for it. I'm kinda excited, but I always get that way about failure's.
Maybe there's nothing worth fighting for. Pride's hurtful to everyone, no real good comes of it.
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| ^^ |
[22 Jan 2005|01:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Goo Goo Dolls--'So Long' |
] |
YAY! I'm happy. Me and Tiffany went and saw Phantom of the Opera. It kicked soo much ass. I wanna see it again!
Piercings I want:
Ear
Cartilege
Tongue
Labret
Lip
I may get my ear done. If I do Ima get it 14 gauge, cause...yea I <3 the barbells. XD
o0 Gotz GOO GOO Dolls CD it's good. Tiffany got the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. Das cool. Ahh yea, I'm spazzy. I may get supa cool boot shoes tomorrow, I hope <3. Maybe I can get the hair dye shit too. It supposed to snow more, oh yea...and surprise, I think I may write my Fairy story as a play for the R. Fest in June, I think that'd kick soo much ass. I'm thinking I'll do some editing and go more into the story of the lost love, like fairy prince and Elizbethian Era peasant girl fall in love...it should be interesting, whatever it is. ^^ Yea, all for now. Ta Ta
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| Test-e's |
[21 Jan 2005|02:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Clay Aiken--'If I were invisible' |
] |
| Trait |
. |
low score |
high score |
| Sociability |
60% |
socially reserved, detached |
friendly, open |
| Aggressiveness |
6% |
mild mannered, uncompetitive |
predatory, domineering |
| Assertiveness |
1% |
introverted, loner |
controlling, aggressive |
| Activity Level |
77% |
relaxed, laid back |
vigorous, high energy |
| Excitement-Seeking |
77% |
sedate, restrained |
adventurous, wild |
| Enthusiasm |
68% |
somber, pessimistic |
cheerful, optimistic |
| Trust |
95% |
suspicious of others |
trusting of others |
| Submissiveness |
67% |
rebellious, lawless |
dutiful, obedient, compliant |
| Altruism |
60% |
selfish, cold, austere |
helpful, selfless, indulgent |
| Cooperation |
89% |
argumentitive, confrontational |
conflict averse, meek |
| Modesty |
34% |
arrogant, self-satisfied |
humble, unassuming, doormat |
| Sympathy |
84% |
callous, heartless |
empathetic, warm |
| Confidence |
29% |
not confident in work |
confident in work, egoistic |
| Neatness |
11% |
disorganized, messy |
planner, clean, anal |
| Dutifulness |
78% |
dishonest, derelict |
honest, rule abiding, proper |
| Achievement |
50% |
lazy, unmotivated |
driven, goal oriented |
| Self-Discipline |
29% |
procrastinator |
responsible, efficient |
| Cautiousness |
17% |
spontaneous, daring, reckless |
careful, controlled, safe |
| Anxiety |
59% |
relaxed, fearless |
fearful, worrier |
| Volatility |
57% |
calm, cool |
touchy, tempermental |
| Depression |
88% |
content, balanced |
emotional, self hating |
| Self-Consciousness |
82% |
confident, assured |
low self esteem, shy |
| Impulsiveness |
76% |
high self control |
low self control |
| Vulnerability |
63% |
resilient, unphased |
confused, helpless |
| Imagination |
79% |
practical, realistic |
dreamer, unrealistic |
| Artistic Interests |
90% |
artistic indifference |
art, nature, beauty lover |
| Introspection |
63% |
not self reflective |
self searching |
| Adventurousness |
71% |
conventional, safe |
spontaneous, bold |
| Intellect |
84% |
instinctive, non-analytical |
intellectual, analytical |
| Liberalism |
82% |
conservative, traditional |
progressive, open |
Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Your element is Air: Carefree, lovable, fun and
childish. Arent you cute! Your just full of
childhood spunk and happiness! Hey who said
being young was a bad thing? You have a keen
understanding of whats good in life and choose
to remain happy rather than get too upset over
things. Life is fun, who wants to be troubled
by grown-up problems? Being as capable of love
as you are you will make a wonderful parent if
and when you choose to grow up. Love is a
mystery because you only want friends not love
interests, games are better than relationships
with the opposite sex. You have what everyone
is searching for, that so called 'fountain of
youth' deep inside. You can come across as
naive and childish at times. But who cares what
they think, lets go play tag!
.:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
Fun loving, childish, innocent and pure
You are a sprite of the Air: Fun loving and
childish your naive nature only enhances how
truly cute you are! You may come off as too
childish but only because your not burdened
with all the rules and regulations of
adulthood. You are carefree most of the time
spending your days playing tag or naming all
the clouds you see in the sky. You are
generally kind to everyone because you have
lots of love and happiness to share! Making
friends comes easy because they strive for the
innocence you possess but be careful, being as
nice and kind hearted as you are people will
try to manipulate your nature if they have not
already. Don't ever let anyone mold you to
their standards although I doubt anyone could.
.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
Calm yet sweet, kind but likes to be alone, i bet
you would want to do dance with everyone else u
just dont want to go down there a face them.
Your a fall fairy
What kind of fairy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Fun quizzy stuff.
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| Magical Fairy Princes...or...stories that won't be in the yearbook. |
[21 Jan 2005|12:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dresden Dolls--'Perfect Fit' |
] |
His gossamer wings shone in the pale brief moonlight that was shining between teh clouds. The snow was lightly dusting the cold earth, and he shook it off with a quick flick of his wings. His hair, black as ink, and his eyes blue as the ocean. It was a cold night, not to imply that this was the coldest night the fairy prince had seen, but it was the coldest since he'd lost his love. Everything after that was cold.
His gaze turned upward, catching the frozen tears of the moon goddess who so cruely tore away he beloved. Silently, he cursed, and silently he sobbed. He had no more place reprimanding the divine than he had in the realm of mortals. Here he was though, staring at the darkened windows of the house of his long lost love. There was a hole in his heart, one that only that mortal could fill. The god's had denied the fairy prince's request for immortality for his love, and than twice they denied his hearts desire for mortality so that he may grow old and eventually die with his love. No, instead they left him cold and alone as the snow that was falling, each and every flake special and unique in it own way, and alone for it as well. Punished was the prince, and what for, could never figure out. He could spend a thousand years pondering the mystery, and still get no where.
His wings held him above the earth, and than carried him to the pond. He wanted to drown himself, to lose himself in the icy depths, but that was no more possible than bringing back his love. He'd try though. Letting go, he plummited, and sunk as his soul felt as heavy as lead. Falling to the bottom, he washed he could turn back time. He'd always wished for that, and than he'd wish for death, for an end to the pain, but he knew still that his wishes and pleas would fall on deaf ears. Forsaken Fairy Princes have no connection with the divine. Fallen like an angel was he from the graces of the Moon Goddess.
Days passed while he was under the cold water of the pond. Than weeks, than months, than years. The world of man had changed, and grew, and it fell, and it was a new age. The pond saved only by his prescence. He'd have no desire to leave the safe and stable confines of his pond, were it not for the rock that had landed in his lap. He looked up, and saw the sun. It seemed brighter on this day, almost as if new hope lie just above the surface. Shaking his wings from their idle state, he rose from the water, and hovered there. Looking towards the waters edge, the fairy prince beheld the heavenly sight. The hair....the eyes. Was this a dream? Had he gone mad in his solitude beneath the once still waters? This wouldn't be the first time he'd dreamt of his long lost love. Only, this time was very different. He looked at love, and love smiled back.
His wings beat stirred the water more, making many more ripples, ripples moving in all directions like his mind and heart. Had this been his second chance, was he being granted another chance, just like humanity? He looked around, and for the first time noticed that the world was truly different. Cities producing smog no longer polluted the skyline, only mountains stood, as mountains should stand, tall and proud and natural. The grass was bright in the sun, shining with it's patches of wild flowers. In all colors. He was closer now, close enough to tell that this wasn't a dream. This was a utopia. This was a world with his love back. He flew to his love, gossamer wings beating harder. Than, his love flew back. The two embraced, and the souls were the same.
The world had ended once, and been reborn, and brought back was his long lost love. He smiled at the sky, and thanked the Divine. So happy was he, that him and his love soard up, past the clouds and bright blue sky. They flew straight into night, hand in hand, heart to heart, and danced around the full moon. The kissed, and their bodies burned. Now nothing would stop them, beneath the moon they were stars, burning bright, immortal, shining the both of them together with the grace of the moon, and the cheering of the heavens.
(dedicated to Kristine M. Allen. <3 Mwah)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I so hope we don't have school tomorrow. Grrrowl. I might as well make it a whole week out right? Eh...enjoy the story.
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| ^^ |
[18 Jan 2005|01:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Orgy--'Opticon' |
] |
The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005
During the outage I got a life. Upon discovering LJ again lived, I happily disposed of it.
What did you do?
Brought to you by geek-foo
|
'Cept I had a life before LJ losted power. Oh well. ^^
Oh yea, I love people sooo much. Yea, CHHS sucks mad ass. But hell, I really can say that I know a lot of the best people there. I love you guys soooo much. Last week was really fucked, and I'm sooo thankful that I have friends like you guys to help keep me afloat. Words can't describe how I feel about you guys.
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